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Location: Montreal, Quebec

Monday, August 21, 2006

Dorm 1

This is a special tribute to all the guys from Dorm 1 in the 2005-2006 year. This year, Dorm 1 will be occupied by a number of wonderful young women who will create a legacy of their own. This one is ours.

Dorm 1

The twilight mingles
With the setting sun;
The stars signify
The day is done.

A fresh dawn aspires,
The students all amass;
Before you know it, you've slept in
And missed your first morning class.

You rise to the sound of your alarm clock,
Reiterating that contemptuous sound
You've been hearing for the past hour,
With "snooze" on the constant rebound.

You aspire to make something of yourself,
And begin, logically, by taking a shower
Only to discover another dorm brother
Indulged the hot water for over an hour.
(No more hot water)

It's now nearly noon, you're in the kitchen
Eyeing the selection of food;
Cupboards, refridgerator, freezer, drawers -
Food, there is not; dishes, there are (which have, quite considerately, mildewed).

Noon now past, you proceed to class,
Remembering why you attend:
For the goodwill of academics, your ethics, morale!
(And 1/10 of your mark, in the end.)

It's two full hours of Bowald grandeur,
His laptop rule in place;
Should a student be seen with Solitaire on the screen,
He might leave without disgrace. (And fail the course)

It's now late afternoon - time to relax!
But what to do - how to decide?
Indulge an episode of Family Guy,
Or break a hole in the dorm's back side?

Out of food - to the food store!
Be sure to buy what we need:
Ten bags of chicken strip fingers,
Ranch dressing, and sunflower seed.

It's dinnertime, we'll make it work;
What to make, let's get creative!
Pasta's a primary choice, of course.
...On second thought, we'll go cliche; it's easier that way.

Dinner's on, the Hammer's gone,
Likely with his girl;
Nevertheless, we shall progress
And eat burned pasta, with a post-hurl.

Dinner's done, we're all gone
To do our individual thing;
Be it a party, a date, a drink, or a book,
Diversity is where we're king.

Our thing now done, and the night still young,
We sit down on a broke(n)-in chair;
Heart-to-hearts we have, we do;
There's much we have to share!

Be it the integrity of one,
Or the misfortune of another;
Where you're about to score a date,
Or you've lost one in a hangover.

Where a girl made you blush,
Or you had a pokerish rush.
Where you made a girl smile,
Or you scored a royal flush.

When you raised the stakes to 600 cents
And couldn't stop right there;
When you said "10 bucks or nothing"
And then nothing was your share.

When Canada's team would lose in the Olympics,
There'd be no consolation.
When "Cleanest Dorm on Campus" trophies
Required immolation.

When all-nighters became a regular occurence,
Or loud music became a regular disturbance.

When dishes required cleaning,
And food required buying;
When it was mentioned we'd get straight A's
If anyone among us felt like dying.

When we reached the breaking point
And became sane once more;
We realized we'd have Dorm 1
Not each time we walked through that door;
But each time we'd see the ones who comprised it
From the year '05 - '06;
That bond is believed unbreakable,
Unlike the dorm walls (which could've used bricks).

Heart-to-hearts over, it's time to turn out the light
Or watch Stephen Colbert divulge why he's so bright.
Beyond that, the day is done.
And though the next day has not yet begun,
I have no doubt more adventures await
The diversity that is Dorm 1.

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